what's really been going on ❤️‍🩹

Content Warning: this email discusses pregnancy loss and miscarriage. If those topics are triggering for you, feel free to skip this one. We understand.

👩🏻‍🦰👋: Hi friends,

We’re coming to you today with a much more personal email than our typical newsletter. Maybe the most personal.

Over the past few weeks and months, we've alluded a few times to the fact that our 2024 has not necessarily gone the way we envisioned it. We both hated being so vague about that, but we knew we needed a little more time and space to emotionally process what has been a wild ride of a few months for us.

I won’t bury the lede here... basically, this summer, Jason and I experienced two very early pregnancy losses over the course of three months.

I won't share all the details of those losses here, but if you're interested in hearing more about our story, we share our journey on the most recent episode of the podcast here. ​

I will say that the only word I can use to describe what this year has been like for us is a rollercoaster.

We had somewhat prepared ourselves for the uncertainty we knew that trying to have a child could bring, but what has unfolded sure was not on our bingo card. It has been painful at times to make peace with the very different journey we find ourselves on.

BUT, I also want to say that there are also really beautiful things to be found in life’s curveballs!

While it's been heavy in moments, in general we have remained joyful and hopeful throughout the unexpected. This has been an opportunity for us to grow in new ways, support each other emotionally, reorganize our priorities, redefine our relationship to our work, and practice surrendering when things are outside our control (something that is very hard for our personality types AND a skill that will be very necessary for the parenting journey ahead!)

The good news is that we have amazing doctors here in Portugal. We have already found the root cause of these early miscarriages, and we're working out a treatment plan that we feel optimistic about. There are no guarantees, but we feel really positive about our plan moving forward. We'll probably record another follow-up episode sharing what that will look like for us once we know for sure.

Though this is a very personal and private area of our lives, we both feel very strongly about sharing this now that we're ready to because topics around fertility can often feel so isolating, uncomfortable, and scary.

Everyone's journey is different, and everyone's family is different—whatever route you choose to pursue to have children, or whether you even choose to have children at all. We support everyone's right to define family in their own way, and we have new empathy for the unexpected challenges that can arise from that pursuit.

I will say is that this year has definitely changed me in many ways—ways I’m sure I won’t even be able to articulate until much later on.

But I've never been so grateful to have work that brings me purpose, a business that is CALM so that I have enough margin to manage the rough patches, and a partner in Jason that forever has my back.

As we mentioned last week, we're going to take a break for a few weeks while we visit with family, recharge our batteries, take a much-needed vacay in the sun, and come back with a renewed energy for the ever-evolving journey ahead.

Thanks for reading this more personal update from us 💕.

- Caroline and Jason